Dear blog,
Today is sunday, I would call it "the-morning-after-the-night-before" but sadly as I said yesterday last night was... lets just say awkward and leave it at that.
Sundays are so typical, once again i'm indoors with nothing to do, aside from the ever-growing stack of paper-work on my desk that i've yet to tackle. As I write this I feel slightly disheartened, as I google blogs I have the realisation that there are hundreds and hundreds of trans-blogs already up and running, with much more content aswell, but at the same time I need to think to myself that everyone starts somewhere.
I've been feeling slightly on edge lately, after my friend Andy (otherwise known as Andrea) was outed as FTM transgender by his girlfriend and socially shunned by most of his so-called friends. I realise that once I do transition it's going to be impossible for me to try to live as a real genetic woman, because if i'm intimate with someone, eventually i'm going to be found out, and even if I did go ahead with the final operation I doubt I could keep up a lie about who I really am for so long. I'm probably over-thinking this and worrying far too much, it's just ever since the Andy situation, and after researching the Gwen Araujo murder I realise that society isn't as accepting as I first thought it was. Don't get me wrong i'm sure there are loads of supporting, kind and tolerant people out there, but I now know for a fact that for every tolerant person, there's a bigot hiding in the shadows. Because that doesn't sound odd and super-villain like at all.
Other than staring at the paper work i've yet to do and plucking up the courage to hit "ENTER" when I type in my blog web adress, i've also started hunting for a good wig while my hair is growing. I went down to London the other week to a wig specialist in the west end, I tried a variety of wigs but in all honesty I ended up looking more drag-queen than beauty-queen. The first made me look like the ugly step sister from Cinderella with tight blonde curls tumbling out of my scalp, whilst the second gave the impression that I was the much less attractive and slightly too broad-shouldered sister of Pocahontas, with straight bangs and sides all dyed jet black. Then again i'm probably being a little too critical, the place I went to was more like a party shop with delusions of grandeur rather than a hair specialist. To be fair I am on a budget though, quite a tight one at that and as they say - beggers can't be choosers.
Anyway i'm going to have to bid farewell for today, I must tackle this workload that i've put off for far too long. Hitting the "OFF" button now.
Lots of love from Mia
xxx
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